Resident Evil: Sleep Over
by Nonliving-Nightmare
Summary: What do you get when you put four stereotypical teens in a creepy mansion filled with zombies, monsters and deathtraps? One heck of a satirical party! When the S.T.A.R.S. come along, will they be able to deal with their crap? Nope.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to my first chapter...again. I had issues with the first first chapter, so now, I'm redoing it. Physical traits will most likely have changed...just because I wanted them to. Some new things, and some otherwise, not new things.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah, blah, blah, you know the story, no suing me for blah blah blah. Get it?

Chapter 1: Eternal Slumber Begins.

"Well, look what we have here!" Kent exclaimed, stumbling drunkenly across the room. He was a very lean, yet strong, seventeen year old. He didn't get quarterback from just his good looks, though, the coach was said to like young blond hair, blue-eyed teenagers. It was just never clarified of what sex. Not that it bothered Kent really. He was dating the head cheerleader because of his position on the football team. Speaking of which.

"Kent, what are we doing here? It's boring, and dirty. These are new boots and I've already stepped into a puddle of mud!"

"Come on, Rea, it won't kill you. Just get your father to buy you a mall of shoes or something."

"They're boots! Blue gem-embedded boots. One of a kind, and they're the only thing that matches my purse and besides, Daddy said I can't have another mall until next month. That's when he plans on embezzling more money from Bill Gates." replied the spoiled blonde. Her outfit spoke of her nature. She wore an outfit, completely blue from head to toe, even her eyes, that were genetically brown, sparkled a brilliant blue, making it seem like the character Skye, out of the book Gentlehands, had helped her pick out her clothes. The multiple gems on her shoes sparkled as if they were lighthouses guiding small ships against fog-ridden areas. She was only 17, but it was already guaranteed she'd never have to work a day in her life.

"Geez, barbie. Can you give it a rest. It's like you never had to work a day in your life."

"Oh, Tanya, I thought I smelt garbage, but it turns out it's only a poor middle class girl like yourself. I don't think you'd EVER understand the lifestyles of the nicely dressed and well-bathed."

"What did you just say?! Can't you think of any better material than that?!" Tanya yelled, jumping at the girl, only to be sprayed in the face with pepper spray.

"Guess it's true. Red-heads do have hot tempers, but blonde's have a purse full of accessories for all situations." Rea laughed insultingly, as if to mock Tanya.

Tanya rubbed her pale green eyes with the cloth of her black t-shirt, slightly moaning from the pain. "I'm going to kill you, you blonde bitch." She screamed, still rubbing frantically at her eyes.

"Come on, Rea, give Tanya a break. She does the best she can with what she's got." Kent defended, as he leaned against the stair railing, probably to keep him from falling over.

"Lord and Lady, you always defend her."

Tanya had known Kent since kindergarten. They had been good friends, up until high school, where he had fallen into the "popular" crowd and started acting like a prick. She had also had a crush on him for years, but then he started dating that blonde bimbo, who most likely visited a plastic surgeon twice a year.

"Just stay out of it Kent."

"Fine, Fine. I was just trying to help." he said, his words becoming a little slurred. He pushed himself off the stair railing and walked over to Rea, who was still mocking Tanya.

"Okay, blondie, I'm going to rip you a new one. I was caught off guard the last time, but I'm a black-belt and I'm gonna kick your ass." Tanya once again rushed for Rea, quickly closing the gap between them.

Kent had managed, though how he moved without falling over after being so plastered is anyone's guess, to get in front of Rea, though not purposely. Tanya whammed into Kent's groin with her knee, and nailed his face with her fist. This instantly sobered Kent up, as he hunched down in pain before slowly falling to the floor.

"Oh my gosh! Why did you just try to kill my boyfriend!"

"I wasn't aiming for him, dirtbag." Tanya responded furiously as she turned around, an attempt to avoid letting Rea see her blushing.

A small chuckle came from across the room, near the entrance.

"It's not funny, Jason. He could be seriously hurt! What if he can't play football again? Oh no, that might ruin my reputation, especially if word gets out he was beat up by a girl. Okay, calm down Rea, if anything like that happens, I'll just have to dump him." The blonde began rambling to herself.

"I feel loved" Kent managed to gasp out, holding his groin in pain. "I think my face is broken. Jason, some help man."

The boy just chuckled again as he flicked a small piece of black hair out of the way of his brown eyes.

"Why are you talking like we're friends? The only time you need to talk to me is when you need help with your homework, or your buddies are too busy getting high and drunk to bother with you. Of course, even then, you're an asshole. I'm only here because Tanya is."

Jason, like Tanya, used to be friends with Kent, before his association with the popular crowd. Jason had taken it a lot harder than Tanya. Kent used to be his best friend, and the only person other than Tanya that he had trusted, that is, up until the day he had basically quit talking to Jason.

"Trust only leads to betrayal." Jason murmured, as he propped one foot up against the wall and leaned his body against it. Jason was mostly a regular 17 year old boy, who was sometimes classified as the geek. He cared about school and his grades, mainly because that was all he really had going for him, so he didn't mind the label so much, only that it made him "uncool" to hang with. He was wearing his typical outfit. A random shirt from his closet and khaki shorts.

"By what reasoning made me even ask you two to come with us? I should have known better."

"Because I asked you to let them come." Kent spoke up, apparently recovered from his almost fatal encounter with Tanya's knee. "Come on, it'll be fun. Exploring a creepy old place like this."

"I'm going to have to object. There won't be any good to come from this, and besides, what if the owner is here and arrests us for trespassing." Jason objected. "What are we even doing here?"

"Mr. Popular here had a drunken spur to stumble through the forest on a stormy night with his girlfriend and wound up here, and then, he decided to call us and drag us into the middle of it." Tanya clarified.

"Right, and why did he call us?"

"Because we're the only people he knows that aren't drunk, high, shooting something, or in the middle of getting laid."

"Tanya, you make all that sound like a bad thing." Kent said, downing a drink of beer.

"Effing moron! Beer is what got us into this mess! Do you realize that you're underage and this is illegal right?" Tanya, being pissed, grabbed the beer bottle out of Kent's hand and bashed him over the head with it.

"Ouch." he mumbled, minutes afterward, before falling over unconscious.

"NO! Kent! Wake up, hun." Rea panicked. She did everything she could think of. From CPR to pulling out a miniature crash cart from her purse. "Honey, this may sting a little, but it'll make you all better."

"Just great. The storm is keeping us from getting out of here anytime soon. I'm stuck in here with a crazy cheerleader getting ready to perform surgery, a dumb jock who's unconscious, which, in hindsight, is a good thing, and Tanya, who has gone homicidal." Jason sighed, letting his body slide into a sitting position on the floor.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Tanya roared, swinging around, the top of the broken bottle still in her hands.

"Uh...you're pretty?" Jason gulped, almost wishing he could phase through the wall. "_Maybe it's safer outside, than inside"_ he thought.

Little do they know, it's going to be one hell of a night.

End Chapter 1.

Author Rant:

Hm, I think it goes into more detail than the first one ever really did. It's also a little more serious, but I'm still trying to keep the goal the same. Make a stereotypical mess out of them all. As you can tell, th characters are going to be at each other's throat for a while. I focused on Jason most of this chapter, but the others will each have their own little tale to tell...maybe. To be perfectly honest, I have friends that I drew inspiration from to create each of these characters. Heh, in a way, it's like I have my friends' destinies in my hands. -grins evilly- I'll start writing the next chapter soon. In the meantime, check out RE4: Crazy Doesn't Begin to Describe It. The power of Tanya compels you...seriously, would you want to end up like Kent???


	2. Chapter 2

1Hm, back after forever. My brain did creative suicide on me...and other issues. Anyway, second chapter. Should be pretty good, considering I wrote it at 2 in the morning.. See what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nada.

**Chapter 2: Bad Survival Tactics.**

By now, Tanya had recklessly stomped her way off to a random part of the mansion to plot the Bitch Goddess's death. Rea, of course, was worried about her looks and was afraid her little spat with Tanya had messed her hair up. So, she too, disappeared into one of the mansion's many doors searching for a larger mirror to suit her needs. The door she took, though, just so happened to be the one Tanya had stampeded off through.

"Hey, shouldn't we go after them?" Kent asked, seemingly recovered from the bashing he received earlier from Tanya.

Jason glared at Kent for a minute, still trying to come to grasp with the current situation. After a long pause, Jason just sighed, nodded, and stood from his crouched position. Jason brushed a strand of black hair out of his eyes. "I really need a haircut." Jason mumbled.

"Got that right."

"Didn't ask you pretty boy." Jason growled, beginning his stride toward the door that the two girls had taken. Gunshots suddenly echoed in the large entrance, causing Jason to stop and flinch. Sweat threatened to rise and trickle down his back. Jason took in a large breath to calm his nerves, and glanced toward the door the shot came from.

"Should we go check it out?" Kent asked eagerly, as if he sensed excitement and an adventure stirring. Without waiting for his classmate's answer, Kent had quickly ran to the door closest on the left, opposite of which the girls had taken, and rushed through it.

"Idgit!" Jason yelled with a sigh. He was starting to regret coming out to this crappy mansion with a bunch of idiots. "Man, if he gets shot it is not my fault. I should just find Tanya and get out of here..." With a final sigh, Jason bit his bottom lip and chased after Kent, praying that whoever had fired the shot would take kindly to strangers...and a dumbass jock. "Curse my conscience."

Kent quickly scanned the next room. It was a large dining room. The table was set with elegant plates and fancy silverware. Glancing up, Kent noticed an upper level, and a grand chandelier. "Talk about nice." he whistled, admiring a painting for a quick second before he spotted another door. "The only place I've seen that compares to this was Rea's house.. Of course, I usually only get to see her bedroom." Kent snickered, but his daydreams were brought to an end just as quickly as they started by a hit to the back of the skull.

"Retard! How big of an idiot can you be? What sane person runs toward gunfire? Do you have a death wish?" Jason ranted on and on. Kent rolled his eyes a bit and sighed out of boredom.

"Okay, I get it mother. Maybe if you people would quit hitting me over the head, I'd be able to think straight." He snorted. "There's something cool about this mansion. There's excitement to be had, and I'm going to find it!"

"Do the words "Mass Murderer" mean anything to you? We're essentially in the same vicinity of where all those hikers disappeared." Jason rambled on, recalling the newspaper articles he had read..

"Look, that's good and all, but I'm not a giant geek like you. I actually have a life, and I'm not afraid of some mass murderer." Kent sighed and shrugged. Not letting Jason say anything else, he opened the next door. This room was a hallway with several more doors spaced out. Kent glanced back and saw Jason behind him, holding his nose. This brought his attention to the foul odor that lingered in the air. It smelt of roadkill and rotting meat. He glanced down the hall to where the smell was originating from and slowly moved down the hall.

"Wait--" Jason began, but was shushed by Kent. Reaching the end of the hallway, the two slowly peaked around the corner. There, they witnessed a grotesque sight. A half-rotted creature was preying upon a young man, dressed in a police uniform. The officer's head was positioned in such a way that it seemed that he was staring at the two teenagers.

"Oh god." Jason said softly. His stomach began to curdle. Jason walked back slowly until he ran into the wall behind him. He pressed himself against the wall and forced himself to look away, small tear drops forming at the corner of his eyes.

The flesh-eater turned it's attention towards the two boys. Even though it's milky eyes showed no emotion or feeling, the creature easily projected it's lust for warm living flesh. The man-monster was bald and old, even before the decomposing had started. Dragging a broken ankle, the monster moaned and slowly limped towards the two boys. Kent, who had been in a shocked state, quickly turned and grabbed Jason's hand, forcefully dragging the terrified geek behind him. Kent swung the door open and rushed through into the dining room. Tripping over his own feet, Kent came crashing down near the fire place, Jason landing on top of him.

"Well, sorry pal. Looks like we're on the menu now because of my screw-up." Kent chortled, still in a little shock. He stared at the creature as it edged through the doorway, a feeling of helplessness overtaking him.

"Idgit" Jason mumbled, "Get your lazy jock ass up and run. It can't eat both of us."

"Well, you know, I was thinking about it, but it turns out, I have about 150 pounds of dead weight, emphasis on dead, on my leg." Kent smirked, getting a hateful glare in return..

The creature was in position now. It would collapse on the two and begin it's munching anymoment now.. One would have to wait and watch in horror, while the other was torn to bits. Only, the creature never fell on top of them. A gunshot had pierced the creature's skull, instead. Sighing in relief at the dead figure on the floor, Jason relaxed his head on Kent's arm. A young man stepped into view. Like the man before, he was dressed in a uniform, only Jason now recognized them as S.T.A.R.S. uniforms. He was a younger looking man with short black hair.

Raising an eyebrow at the two boys lying together on the floor, the man began chuckling. "Should I come back or are you two lovebirds done?"

Kent and Jason simultaneously glanced at each other and both jumped to their feet, turning their backs to one another.

"Hate to interrupt this lovefest, but I'm Chris." The man introduced himself, in-between the glares the boys kept giving each other. "And , if you haven't noticed, it's kinda dangerous here."

The two nodded at Chris's statement and introduced themselves.

"Chris, what's going on here?" Jason asked after a moment of awkward silence.

"Well from the looks of it, this is the base for the lunatics responsible for the murders and disappearances."

"I hate you." Jason said, glaring at Kent. "This is all your fault. Don't think I won't use you as a shield, or push you out in front of any moving vehicles. Whichever occasion arises first."

"Is it wise to be making threats in front of a cop?"

Examining Chris with one or two glances, Jason let out a chuckle. "This guy? He's probably a bigger pothead than you are. I mean, just look at him."

"Excuse me? I'm right here you know." Chris spoke up angrily. "First of all, I saved your life. Second, I have the gun. Third, I'll haul both of your asses off to jail if you don't shut up and then you'll really get to see what it's like to drop the soap!"

The two exchanged surprised looks and started whispering to each other, glancing over ever so often to laugh about something.

"What the? Teenagers, I hate them. They're lucky I don't shoot them both right now. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night." Chris murmured, glancing down at his watch. "God, I hope Jill is having better luck than I am. First the helicopter crash and then those damn mutant mutts. Now two teenage brats. In just fifteen minutes, my life turned to Hell."

End Chapter 2.

yeah, not so funny this chapter. I'm not sure what I'll do with Kent and Jason. They hate each other one moment and then are friends the next. Kinda how high school friendships go (Been there, done that all too recently). So yeah, that'll progress, and I try to put w/e suggestions reviewers leave me into the story, so yeah, one of my characters may turn out to be gay...but, I've never actually had a gay character in one of my stories...so I'll probably end up butchering that idea XD.

Please Review Anyway! Always helpful to know what anyone thinks. Until next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I know it's been a while since I've updated...and trust me, there's good reason for that...primarily the fact that it kinda sucks and I've been in a weird kind of funk. So, don't expect this chapter to be very good...but I'll do my best. And thanks for the reviews, whoever. I hope this chapter doesn't bore too many people. Fyi, sorry if I offend anyone...I used more language in this chapter than I usually do...but it seemed fitting.

Disclamier: I own nada but the laptop I'm typing on and my own insanity.

**Chapter 3**: **Charlie's Angels**

In an L-shaped hallway:

Rea was furiously brushing her long blonde hair, trying to recover from her fight with Tanya only a few minutes earlier. She was too pissed off to really worry about the gunshots she heard. Her hair, by far, was the most precious thing to her, well, that and her nose. After all, her rich daddy had paid a fortune for it. She was also long overdue for some other plastic surgery, she thought, looking down at her breasts. But either way, it was that red-headed bitch goddess that had bruised her beautiful face, and put her hair into such a mess.

"My god, you've been at it for fifteen minutes now. Aren't you even a bit worried about the gunshots? What about Kent and Jason? How hard is it really to fix your hair? I swear, sex doesn't last as long as it takes you to get ready. Is it really worth it?" Tanya asked rather annoyed, peering into the other girl's purse and noticing the tons of things she carried around with her. "Are you a jewel thief, drug smuggler, assassin, etc? 'Cause, you're packing a lot of crap in that bag of yours."

" Don't you ever shut up? Besides, a girl has just got to be prepared, darling. It's not uncommon to meet people important for your social life; you simply have to look your best...but don't worry, trailer trash like yourself won't ever have to worry about that." Rea smirked, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder in attempt to further antagonize Tanya. It wasn't the fact she hated Tanya, not really, she just couldn't stand to see the shenanigans of that of a barbarian. True, Tanya couldn't help the environment she grew up in, but that was no excuse for her to act like such an animal. It was an insult to all women. Rea wasn't really concerned with that at the moment. She was more interested in exploring this old mansion. Maybe she would run into a handsome young rich bachelor. She was in a daze at this point, fantasizing about the life she could have. She liked Kent and all, but she dated him more for image purposes, after all, the star football player was supposed to date the slutty cheerleader; she smiled at this thought, as she rounded the corner.

Tanya slowly followed behind, her eyes flaming red. She silently swore to herself that if she saw a chance to take her out, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Tanya couldn't help but wonder what the smirk was all about...she must be thinking of getting laid, Tanya concluded because everyone knows Kent isn't that great in the sack, or so was the rumor. Tanya saw motion from the corner of her eye. She stared out the window, trying to find any life, but nothing moved in the cold, dark night. Tanya wasn't the paranoid one out of the bunch, that was Jason by far, but she wasn't exactly reckless. Clenching her fist tightly, she quickly caught up to Rea who still appeared to be daydreaming. From behind them, glass exploded into several deadly projectiles as something came crashing through the window. Rea just stared in the general direction of the noise, not fully aware of the situation.

"Shit!" Tanya exclaimed and grabbed Rea forcefully by the wrist and pulled her down the rest of the hallway. "There's no way that's possible."

"What's wrong with that dog?" Rea asked quietly from a state of shock as reality came crashing down on her.

"Who the fuck knows or cares, but I think it might want to play fetch with our body parts. It's flesh...there's no way. The exposed ribcage, the ligaments and muscles...it's physically impossible for a creature to still be alive in that state." Tanya gasped, trying to work out the details in her head as she jiggled the door handle. "Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why won't it open?!" She yelled, pounding her fist against the door. The monster dog was creeping ever so slightly forward; it bore it's teeth at them and let out a shivering, fearsome growl.

"Oh god, eat the trashy red-head first!" Rea shrieked, pushing Tanya in front of her.

"Blonde backstabbing bitch, see if I ever try to help you again." Tanya muttered, pushing herself as far as she could against the wall. "Easy cujo. Isn't there a dead cat or something you can chase?"

The dog just barked in return, glaring directly at Tanya; it's tongue wiped across it's mouth and drool fell to the ground.

"Great, it's looking at me. I blame you for this, Rea. you put some kind of voodoo on the dog, didn't you. God, now you can even charm Devil dogs into doing your bidding. Is no male creature safe?" Tanya joked, trying to keep her cool.

"Hey, fido!" A feminine voice called out. "This is for my comrades!" As the dog whipped around to growl at the new meal proposition, the S.T.A.R.S. member fired two shots straight into it's brain. She slowly lowered her arms to rest at her side, kicking the foul beast in what was left of it's head as she walked pass it. "Hi, my name's Jill. Are you okay?" She smiled to show she was there to help.

"Besides that awful excuse for an outfit you're wearing, we're just fine. Here's a little tip. If you wear something tighter, and maybe a shorter skirt or something, men might actually overlook the fact you're a cop." Rea huffed. "Talk about needing fashion police."

"That means 'thanks for saving my sorry blonde ass officer, I really appreciate it.' in snob." Tanya said, rolling her eyes. "Ignore her, she's a stuck up bitch who gets cranky if she doesn't have her massage every other hour. We'd have been dead without your help. Thanks."

Jill just stood there, her eyes focused on the blonde. She stared for a minute, complete silence circling the air. "I was just doing my job...trust me. Let's go on up ahead. My partner is supposed to meet me further in. It's best if we find a safe area and wait for him. There's a lot of messed up things in this mansion, so be careful. Hm, the door's locked." Jill stated, pulling out a set of tools. "This will only take a second." and just like that, the door creaked open and she walked through with her gun raised.

"Hm, might I also suggest getting some botox on your butt." Rea said, walking casually pass Jill while playing with her hair."

"Hey, at least she was looking at your ass." Tanya chuckled. "Thanks again for saving us."

"No problem, though your friend might want to shut up."

"I'll take care of her if you let me see your gun."

"Sorry, but I must remain professional."

"Jill, is your partner a guy?" Rea asked.

"yes...why?"

"That's good. I just though I'd might like to meet him...I mean, after all, there couldn't possibly be anything going on between you and him" Rea giggled, twirling around once so carelessly.

"Here." Jill said, handing Tanya her beretta. "I'll just plug my ears, act like I didn't see anything and laugh maniacally."

"Nah, I can't. Jason would kill me because that blonde idiot of a 'person' Kent would be upset. I really don't know why he even fools with him."

"God, I hate teenagers." Jill sighed, putting her handgun away in an attempt to not kill Rea. Jill was reasonable, but there's only so much a woman can take, but murder is never the answer. However, she thought, maybe if I "accidently" let one of those dogs get a hold of her. Jill smiled to herself, even though she knew she'd have to protect these girls with her life. Sometimes life sucked. She sometimes reminisced about the good times when her father was teaching her the trade of a thief. Prison seemed like Heaven compared to her current situation. Jill had a feeling she was going to need a lot of alcohol and therapy sessions before this was all over.

Then, Rea's cell phone rang. "Hey! Charlie! How's it going? Oh I'm good. I'm with that loser's Jason's trailer trash friend and this old hag for a cop. God it's Hell! Kent? He's somewhere with Jason. Hm, really now? you're that much better in bed than Kent? you don't say. I might have to take you up on that offer sometime. Well, I got to go Charile. Bye bye." Rea flipped her cell closed.

"I can't believe you've had a cell phone this entire time and haven't called for help. What the Hell is wrong with you?!" Tanya yelled, trying to wrestle Rea's phone away. With unbelievable luck and bad karma, the both fell to the ground on top of the cell and crushed it.

Jill just sighed. "I swear, teenagers were sent by Satan to make everyone else's lives a living nightmare. Chris...please hurry. I don't think I can manage keeping these two alive. I might just push them into something myself." Jill mumbled to herself, glancing over at the bickering teens. "This sucks."

**End Chapter 3**

Well...what can I say. I hope it wasn't too bad. It's just been a very long time. I'm in a writing mood thanks to this story...I'm really surprised I actually got that much for the girls' scenario. I find it much easier to write for the guys' part. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it. I should have another chapter up by Sunday. So if you liked it, let me know please. Reviews help keep me writing...I generally lose motivation without them . Review please!!


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews AccessBlade and Kaiser Spartan, I really appreciate them, so as promised, I shall post this today. Oh and AccessBlade...erm...could you not try to kill my characters...that's kinda my job. ) Anyway, R&R please.

Disclaimer: you know the routine. And this story is completely fictional...it is pure coincidence if my characters resemble any real persons...very, very coincidental...perhaps too coincidental, heheh.

**Chapter 4: Reminiscence **

Still in the dining room:

Chris was getting furious. The two blabbering idiots had done nothing but whisper and giggle since he had shot that "creature." They were acting more like a bunch of schoolgirls after having a cute boy walk pass them. He wasn't sure how to handle things at this point. The surrounding environment seemed far too hazardous for two unarmed teenagers but there was no way on God's green earth was he going to be giving Jason and Kent weapons. He rather try wrestling an alligator or Jill after knocking her lucky hat off her head, for that matter. He rubbed his gut, still remembering the time she nailed him with her knee. He'd never make that mistake again. Chris just let out a sigh as he watched the two boys stare at him. It wasn't exactly flattering, either.

To get his mind off the boys, Chris glanced around the fancy dining room. The light from the candles and the fireplace lit the room significantly. To his left, Chris could see an old grandfather clock that seemed to have stopped working and directly behind him was the fireplace; over the fireplace, hung what appeared to be medieval weapons and a wooden shield in the middle. He fiddled with a bit of dusty silverware has he scouted out the rest of the room, eventually letting his gaze rest upon what little he could see of a statue above him. He made a mental note to check out the upper levels later on. He finally let his attention fall back to the boys who were still chattering among themselves.

"Hey, no offense...but what's a jock doing hanging out with an emo geek thing." Chris asked, running his fingers across the smooth surface of his knife.

"Emo geek thing?! What, are you still in high school or something? It's rude to give people titles, you muscular idiot. I swear, you're just as bad as Kent." Jason scolded Chris, somewhat blushing.

"Relax, Jason. Besides we're friends, so what's it matter?" Kent said, patting Jason on the shoulder.

"Are you that stupid? Since when have we been friends? you are the one that ditched me to become a popular football player, remember? I don't constitute that as a reasonable definition for what a friend is." Jason scoffed and flung Kent's powerful arm off his shoulder. Jason spat at Kent's shoe

to show his disgust. Kent took a few steps back from Jason and lowered his head.

"Do you hate me that much Jason? Was I really that bad of a friend?" Kent asked, his voice low and melancholy.

"Hell yes!"

"Children don't make me give you a timeout!" Chris yelled, realizing that he sounded more like a kindergarten teacher instead of a trained cop. Sighing to himself, Chris just shook his head and exited the dining room and entered a vast hallway; after all, there was no way he was going to get into the middle of teenage drama. Chris looked around the hallway, noticing the several doors that lined the wall on the left. He grabbed his gut as a rank, rotting odor filled his nostrils. It was coming from his left he realized. With his beretta in one hand and his knife in the other, he slowly crept along the side of wall until he reached the end. Taking a deep breath, he flung himself off the wall and pointed his handgun. Chris dropped his handgun and began vomiting. His eyes were fixed on his dismembered comrade, Kenneth, from the Bravo team. No matter how hard he fought it, he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the gruesome leftovers that once was a living human being.. "Oh god! Did that thing I shot do this? What the Hell is really going on in this place...this isn't just some murderous activities by a serial killer. "

"Chris, are you okay!" Called Jason. He grabbed the young man's arm and pulled him away from the disturbing scene. "Chris, get a hold of yourself! I'm really sorry about your friend, but we have bigger worries right now. Kent went and been an idiot and ran off by himself. We have to find him! Please Chris. I shouldn't have said those things to him. If anything happens, it'll be my fault!" Jason was doing everything but kissing Chris' feet at this point. It was true that Kent wasn't exactly the best friend at times and had done a lot of cruel things to him but that didn't mean he wanted him dead.

"Fine. Let's go find your friend." Chris hesitantly agreed. He wiped his mouth and swallowed hard, flinching at the taste. He lowered his head and retrieved his handgun, all the while trying to avoid looking at the dead body. "I can't believe I lost it like that. Here, use my knife. Just in case."

With Chris in front with his handgun, the two slowly walked down the hallway, trying each door they came to, but all were locked. They tried calling out the jock's name, but there was no answer. At the end of the hardwood hallway, the two followed a flight of stairs down and into a kitchen. Gun raised, Chris exploded into the room and trained his sight on a person in front of him. Kent was in the large kitchen over one of the stoves with a frying pan in his hands, while humming the tune to the Fanta soda commercials.

"Kent! What the heck are you doing here? I was worried about you!" Jason exclaimed. Joy filled the teenager at the sight of his living, breathing "friend." "Thank God you're alive."

"Um, yeah, of course I am. Wait, is this bacon diseased or something? I mean, all I wanted was something to snack on and maybe a beer, but if it's going to kill me, I can always wait." And just like that, Jason's joy faded and his temper flared. Without a second thought, Jason grabbed a cold pan and hit Kent as hard as he could upside the head and, without a word, left the room in anger.

"Ouch, what the Hell did he do that for?" Kent asked, looking to Chris.

"you know...if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you two were an old married couple. Actually, I really don't know any better. All I know about you two is the fact you're both stupid teenage boys who probably don't have a clue what they're feeling."

"I don't know what you just said...but I still want to know why he hit me."

Chris sighed, unsure how to get his point across. "Okay, I'll put it as simply as I can just for you. Jason was worried about you. He thought he was the reason you went off on your own. He was frightened for your safety." Kent just stood there, glaring dumbly at Chris. "Good God I give up. I refuse to play peacemaker with an idiot. I thought high school stereotypes were just a myth." With that, Chris also stormed out of the room.

"I guess you guys don't want anything to eat then?" Kent called after them and shrugged.

In the hallway:

Jason was sitting on the cool floor, his knees pushing against his chest. He couldn't believe he had been worried over that selfish jock. He recalled something Tanya once said to him. "Never go to bed angry...stay up and plot your revenge." Jason smirked at this. Tanya was something all right. A mass-murderer in the making alright. He laughed to himself. She would kill him if he ever questioned her sanity. She always said she was the only normal one in their high school class...yeah right, and Rea is going to be the Valedictorian, he thought and chuckled once more. Without his realizing, Chris had sat down beside him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"you know," Chris began "it wasn't so long ago when I was your age. It's hard fitting in, but it gets easier."

"Heh, easy for you to say. you were probably the hotshot punk. Am I right?" Jason questioned. Chris' silence said it all. "I thought so, but thanks for trying. I'm happy with the way things are really. I have Tanya, that's enough, right? One great friend?"

"Right you are buddy." Chris grinned that boyish grin of his.

BLAST – something suddenly came crashing out from behind one of the closed doors, wood went splintering in several directions. It was the same as the one Chris had killed before. His face had been mauled and his gut had been ripped open, but it was still walking, shuffling towards the two males. It moaned once loudly and, with a sudden burst of speed, lunged toward the seated boy. Jason, a burst of adrenaline kicking in, pushed himself off the wall and rolled away from the creature, but it extended one of his arms and grabbed hold of Jason.

"Shit!" Chris exclaimed, fumbling for his handgun.

"A little help here!" Jason shouted as he frantically kicked and pulled in an attempt to escape. Suddenly remembering the combat knife Chris had lent him, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife, which was still in it's sheath. He quickly removed it and stabbed it into his captive's hand. Dark congealed blood squeezed itself out of the newly inflicted wound. Jason managed to get loose of the monster's grip at the same exact moment Chris fired a shot into the monster's spinal cord, but it kept crawling towards them. He fired once more but this time into it's cerebellum. The monster flopped down dead with a final moan.

"What the Hell is happening here?" Jason asked Chris. "Please, tell me."

"I don't know Jason, but, I think we've run into a zombie problem."

"Zombies?! Sorry Chris, but you've got to be kidding me. Maybe it's cerebral palsy or some other kind of disorder." Jason rambled, trying to find a textbook answer.

"Come on, Jason, he was missing most of his insides and he was trying to eat you. If that doesn't count as ravaging flesh eating monster, hence a zombie, then slap my sister and call her a slut." Chris countered. "And trust me, she's not a slut...she may dress a little trashy, but definitely not a slut. Let's go get Kent and figure out what is going on around here."

"Do we have to? I mean, you've seen him. He acts about just as mindless as one of those zombies. Can't we just lock him in a storage closet somewhere so he won't get in our way?" Jason asked.

"Man, would you just decide whether you like him or not; you two are starting to give me a headache. Either way, let's go get him. He might get attacked and turn into one of them."

"That would be bad...he might actually be smarter then." Jason smirked. He loved making fun of Kent. It kept his wits sharp and his life fun. "Eh, let's go get the moron."

End Chapter 4.

...yeah, don't hate me for this chapter...I stayed up from 2-6 this morning working on it...so I'm really tired and I know it's not all that great and note that I've watched really really weird and stupid movies lately, so I'm sure they rubbed off on me lol.. I know, it's a bit serious/dramatic, but that's teenagers for yah lol. I'll try to make the next chapter better, more humorous, and more coherent. I think Chris is going to have an easier time with the guys than Jill is with the girls. That's just how it seems to be working out. Well anyway, R&R please. It's always nice to know what you think. Must sleep now...


	5. Chapter 5

A new chapter for yah...never thought I'd update 3 times in one month lol...it's a miracle XD lol jk. Thanks to AccessBlade for reviewing, I appreciate it, oh and I like your character Alex...she makes me laugh lol. And especially thank you to BurningBridges, I think your reviews are just fine lol...and that's somewhat good that it reminds you of high school...after all, it's a story about 4 stereotypical teenagers lol. Well, I should be able to cook up some nice trouble for my characters to get into.

Jill gulps, "Spare my sanity or I'll hunt you down!"

A: Good luck with that...your fate, along with Chris and the others, is in my hands.

Chris: Jill, I think we're doomed. There's nothing left but suicide.

A: I'll just bring you back...you don't get the "almighty author" thing do you?

Jill: Chris, don't fight it...just smile and nod.. It's like bad sex, it's over before you know it.

Chris: Guess you're right.

A: Glad you see it my way, spiky-haired idiot. Anyway, enjoy and ignore Chris's and Jill's cries for help.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the almost half-page bit above this and the rest of whatever you want to call my writing.

**Chapter 5: Because A Title Just Doesn't Do This Chapter Justice**

In the hallway with the bathroom:

Jill had taken to the habit of jabbing her combat knife into the wall with every step she made. It was all she could do to keep from cutting Rea's tongue out of her mouth and force-feeding it back to her. Jill was convinced that Rea was an experimental WOMD developed by the government to send brain waves into the enemy's mind and implant the urge to commit suicide. After all, it seemed like a perfect plan, Jill thought to herself. Put the transmitter into a young, irresistible blond with large breasts and no male in sight could resist her, unless they were gay, and even then, Jill had her doubts. Rea was the perfect creature and her weapon was her mouth. Jill was sure of it.

"As soon as I get out of here, I'm writing that in my Conspiracy of the Week blog on myspace" Jill mumbled to herself, still stabbing the wall.

"If the walls had ears, they'd be deaf" Tanya said aloud, watching the young, attractive S.T.A.R.S. member attack the wall relentlessly. "I wonder what it ever did to her to deserve that kind of treatment."

"I bet her interior decorator screwed her over when doing her home so she just has to take her jealousy out on these nice people's mansion."

"'These nice people's mansion'?" Tanya mocked. "Are you crazy? They have zombified dogs that tried to kill us! They make Cujo look like a Chihuahua on estrogen pills."

"Would you both be quiet!" Jill barked, obviously losing her cool for a bit.

"Who died and made you boss? If my daddy heard the way you were talking to me, you'd be sorry. I bet you don't know who I am, do you? I'll make sure you're suspended, Jill Valentine. Rude cops like you deserve to have to work behind a desk. Treating someone of my stature that rudely should be a crime all it's own. My family is powerful. I promise you, if you don't treat me wit a bit more respect, you will regret it." Rea went on and on in her usual condescending way.

"Obviously you have yet to grasp the details of the situation. Weird things are going on in and around this mansion. We can't go out into the forest because more dogs wait for us. We can't just stay here because sooner or later something will find us, plus Chris may need my help, so would you please just be quiet for five minutes. That's all I ask." Jill pleaded with the girl to be quiet just so she could think, but this only caused more issues.

"How dare you telling ME of all people to be quiet!"

At this point, Jill tuned out the obnoxious girl and only heard "blah blah blah" for the next 10 minutes. Getting impatient with just standing in the hallway they were in, Jill went to the closest steel-looking door to her right and exited out, leaving the obnoxious sounds ,like that of when an adult talks in the Charlie Brown cartoons, behind her. Jill was now in a outdoor fenced in area. She examined the area and noticed a rusty old boiler, a bag, and a few plants.

"Ahh, fresh air." Jill sighed, as she began stretching out in an attempt to relax. Her blue S.T.A.R.S. outfit wasn't the best thing to stretch in, but she didn't have much of a choice. Feeling looser and less-stressed, Jill adjusted her lucky hat and decided to check out the plants. Though Jill wasn't an expert with plants, she realized quickly that these herbs were a type of rare medicinal plant that grew in the Arklay regions. Hastily, Jill collected as much as she could and placed them in her bag, and took out a pack of Orbits gum, chewed a piece, and sighed. For some reason, this all seemed far too familiar to her, but she just shrugged it off.

Jill was headed for the door when two zombie dogs leaped over the fence and rushed toward her. Flinching for a second, Jill's reflexes shot into action and she drew her Beretta. Jill shot down the first zombie dog in mid-lunge and narrowly dodged the second one. She took careful aim as it circled around to make another attack and shot it in the hip to cripple it. It howled from the impact and fell, but quickly rose again. Jill, still pretty annoyed at Rea, just grinned a wicked smile and sent a killing bullet into the brain of the dog. Jill turned on her heels and reentered the mansion feeling quite a bit more relieved..

"Jill are you alright!" Tanya asked out of concern as Jill stepped through the door. "I heard gunshots. Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Just a few dogs that needed to be neutered." Jill responded, but then noticed Rea was gone. "Where'd Rea go?"

"Oh, she went into that room next to us. It's a bathroom so she wanted to "fix herself up" or so she says...I think she just wants to look at herself."

"EEEEK!" came a scream from the bathroom. Jill, out of duty, not concern, rushed to the door but it was locked.

"Rea, can you hear me? REA! Open the door! Are you okay?" Jill asked pounding on the door. Jill backed up a few feet and rammed the door with her shoulder. "Ouch you son-of-a—" she said aloud, clutching her shoulder. "Movies make this stuff seem so easy."

"Why are you even trying to help her?" Tanya asked, leaning against the wall next to the door, yawning and examining her fingernails. "After all, she said you had a fat ass, and your boobs were horrendous."

"She said what?" Jill twitched. "When?"

"When you were outside."

"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR! If you're going to die, I want the credit!" Jill yelled, ramming it once more as hard as she could, but she was repelled off of it once more.. "Fine, if you wanna play rough so be it.. Tanya, get away from the door, I'm going to shoot the lock."

Tanya just rolled her eyes and stepped in front of the door. "Let me handle this." she said, and with one swift, powerful kick, the door flung open. Jill gawked at the girl. "What's that look for? I've taken karate ever since I was 8." Jill, regathering her posture and cool, ran through the door with her handgun raised, but she wasn't prepared for the grotesque image that would ultimately give Jill nightmares for years to come.

"What the hell is going on in this place?" Tanya asked, staring in disbelief.

"I was just having a nice little chat with this zombie fellow." Rea giggled, pointing to the zombie that was now trying to drown itself.

"What did you do?" Jill questioned, unsure why the zombie was now tearing at it's own face when drowning didn't work.

"Hm, how should I explain it? I know! Que flashback!"

Flashback from just a few minutes prior to the present:

Jill had gone outside in the middle of Rea's speech, which further fueled Rea's annoyance with the woman. She was losing patience with this place, and it was all Kent's fault. Damn him! Deciding she didn't want to be alone with that trashy Tanya. Rea decided she'd go explore on her own. She went to the door opposite of the one they entered and opened it. She was thrilled when she discovered it was a bathroom.

"I'm going to go freshen up, dearie. Something you obviously don't do, so don't bother me, okay? Thanks!" Rea quickly said with a smile from the door, before slamming it shut. Thankful she was finally alone, Rea took out her massive make-up supply from her large bag and started to "freshen up" as she had put it. Bending over to take something out of her bag, a zombie can be seen in the mirror, but the image is blocked as Rea straightens back up and applies more make-up. Finally happy with the pounds and pounds of make-up she applied, Rea turns around to leave but comes face to face with a zombie. Rea let out a loud, ear piercing screech.

The zombie slightly twitched, but then grabbed her.

"How dare you lay your filthy hands on me! Do you know who I am? I want the number of your lawyer! I'm filing sexual harassment charges against you!" Rea yelled at the zombie. The zombie, in turn, tilted it's head slightly and looked at the blond for a moment before attempting to take a bite out of her.

"Let go of me!" Rea yelled, slapping the creature across the face and kneeing it in the groin. It appeared that there were tears coming from the zombie's eyes now. "I would be ashamed of myself if I were you. Trying to woo a girl of my status in such an awful outfit. It's all torn, ragged, and dull. Who wears plain white shirts and black pants anymore? you disgust me! And that odor, God, how long has it been since you last showered? At least you could put on some deodorant or cologne or something."

The zombie, now twitching insanely, began beating it's head against it's decaying forehands. Of all the flesh-meat he could have attacked, it had to be the most annoying prey of all time.

"Hey, I'm talking to you buddy! At least you could do would be to compliment my outfit. Don't you think I look hot in this?" She asked, turning around to show off her butt. "Well? Are you going to say anything?"

At this point, the zombie wanted to die. The only thing he could do was try to drown himself. So headfirst he plunged into the water, but the annoying sounds of the girl still carried even through water. The zombie, even though he was underwater, was in full-pledged tears now. That's when the door came bursting open and two more women entered. "Shit." the zombie thought to itself as if it could actually think.

In the Present:

"I see." Jill said, as if the whole situation had been explained to her like in some form of writing. "Poor thing. I feel your pain buddy."

"Muuhahh" the zombie moaned, pointing at Jill's handgun.

Jill nodded with a silent "I understand" and motioned for the two teenage girls to leave the room, and they did.

In the Hallway:

The two girls were just pacing around when they heard a single shot ring through the halls and Jill came out with a frustrated look on her face.

"Everything okay, Jill?" Tanya asked.

"No, it's not! That zombie bastard! He tried to grope my ass!"

Tanya broke out laughing and Rea sourly pouted, somewhat disappointed that the zombie would go for the cop instead of her...even if it did repulse her.

"I bet it thought you were one of them. After all, your skin is horrible" Rea commented sourly and walked off with Tanya. Jill followed hesitantly, still debating on whether that girl was worth letting live.

End Chapter 5.

Jill: I hate zombies, teenagers, authors, and especially teenage authors.

A: Hey, was that a blow at me?

Jill just glares and folds her arms.

A: Oh come on...all I had it do was touch your butt...you can't hate me for that...you have a nice butt.

Jill walks off in disgust.

A: I was just joking!! Come back! I'm sorry!

Sorry 'bout that, randomness on an epic scale lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter!! Oh, and I've realized I haven't said this in any previous chapter and now I feel a bit bad...but yeah, I'll say it now. This story does not reflect my personal views. I have nothing against jocks, blondie boys/girls, people who live in a trailer (come on, that's just silly), Homosexuals, geeks/dorks/nerds, or any other random things mentioned in this story. Now that that is out of the way, enjoy! . Review please!


End file.
